But what all stories talk about, stories always begin with some sort of seeming calamity, and a need to gather spirit amongst people. But spirit isn’t the same thing as soul. It’s slightly different. What will be interesting over the next decade or so as this movement grows and others, is to see what happens when the spirit moves from the fiery speech that gets people working, into the deeper, slower, more reflective business of soul. But it is out of that, it is out of the combination of soul and spirit you’ll get a true mythos, you’ll get something that will just hit people on the deepest level.
– Martin Shaw interview
It is both a step-by-step process and a leap, this journey that starts with discovering ourselves – freeing ourselves from all kinds of habits and beliefs in the process of becoming authentic in our actions – and continues until we reach the point where we are following our life’s calling to the fullest. At that point, all aspects of life become fully integrated into a single canvas, where there will tend to be far fewer boundaries demarcating the boundary between professional and private life. Learning to be authentic with ever less downloading (I and Myself) leads, almost inevitably, to a deeper sense of both my uniqueness and my ordinariness, because in the end these two are the same.
We can have the highest degree of authentic self-esteem just by being completely ordinary and average. Then we say to ourselves as to our beloved: That you are, is enough. What you are is a gift. How you are is a delight. Who you are is a ‘a mystery’.
– Yasuhiko Genku Kimura, via Facebook ’12
To describe this way of living, I like to use the notion of soul’s calling because it points to an energy that is uniquely personal that also links us with some greater force that goes beyond our daily life and our normal (Western) understanding. Introducing the concept of soul might be a spiritual or religious bridge too far for some, but I find no other concept that speaks so well to the capacity, potential and depth of experience. Some people call it ‘life’s calling’, which to me is the same. Conversations, even in business settings, shift to quite a different level when the question is raised whether the company’s soul is dead or alive; or when employees admit that their souls are dying in the system they are in. In those moments, we are beyond speaking about profits or low morale: we are tending to the heart of the matter.
Your soul’s calling might have been shining through from childhood or it may show up only later in life, but at some point you feel the pull of a calling that is so deep and compelling that you just have to pay attention. As you align your choices with that calling, other pieces of your life fall into place. It can feel like a vibrational shift, an alignment where every part of who you are, the very essence of your being, comes into a sense of wholeness – wholeness in the sense not of unity, but of a unique coherence, with many colours, forms and unique combinations.
The soul can be seen as a huge potential that is present in you for the simple purpose of being expressed and unfolded over the span of your life. If you look back on your life so far and notice what connects all your experiences, you might get a sense of what this potential is about. Every acorn has the potential to become an oak tree. How the tree actually grows – in what kinds of weather and soil – also depends on environmental factors, of course. We all hold unmanifest potential that gains more form and expression over time; the better you listen within, the clearer it becomes. The movement of inner alignment, starting with integrating more of your subtle senses, does not end with sharing and expressing your unique gifts here or there in a given context. Rather, your authenticity continues to deepen until your entire being and every moment and arena of your life feel like one coherent whole.
The kinds of questions that can speak to your soul’s calling are:
What is genuinely you?
What makes you feel really alive?
What is deeply exciting and satisfying to you?
What is it that you cannot not do?
What’s the possibility you came here to create?
What is it that I can uniquely do that the world of tomorrow needs?
– Peter Hawkins
Ask not what you should do, but ask what the world wants to do through you.
– Eckhard Tolle on Wisdom 2.0 conference 2013
When speaking of soul, Bonnitta Roy uses the term ‘soul print‘, which really captures the essence. While ‘soul’ seems more like something with substance, ‘a thing’ (this might be my Catholic upbringing!), ‘soul print’ suggests a potential, a kind of rough design or fuzzy template. Soul print refers to the uniqueness with which each of us is born, springing from a deep inner foundation. Even twins have different soul prints, as we see different individuals unfolding throughout life. Our soul print is our unique link to source, to the origin of life, to the most fundamental immanent aspect of reality; a source that transcends the personal and individual. Our soul print can also be seen as an impulse from the causal realm.
I see many young people searching for their unique characteristic, the one feature that lets them shine, radiate and be uniquely who they are. It might take a substantial portion of your life before you finally begin to grasp what it is about – at least that’s how it has been for me. In hindsight I have been able to discover the red thread that was woven through the many phases of my life and that led to the point in time where I could take the leap to following my soul, instead of complying to ideas and concepts – from parents, from school, from mainstream culture – about what life should look like. This work requires some deep inner listening to reveal your unique contribution in amongst all this cultural, gender, family and other conditioning. And as I said before (I and You), your unique gift is related to your deepest trauma. In this lifelong journey to become your calling, you will be pushed and pulled in the direction of what that trauma is about. That is where you will find your unique treasure. With every layer of conditioning you peel away and shed, you are able to see more subtle layers of life and reality, your self included. You have now become intimate with your soul print.
The soul print hails from the world of the eternal, beyond or near the frontier between life and death. It is related with the origin whence all life springs. Scharmer’s concept of Open Will can be understood as living from soul – your own unique expression of life itself. It is no longer your small individual will, linked with ego-as-habit, that is guiding your life. Instead you surrender to something greater – ‘God’s will’, my (Catholic) mother would have called it. But God’s will is to be understood not as conforming to the rules of the church, but as a higher will that brings your personal life uniquely into service to the whole of life.
The soul indicates an extension of being, one that vibrates beyond time and space.
– Marko Pogacnik, Gaia’s Quatum Leap, p61
The Dutch language has a great word, still full of meaning, that translates in English as ‘obvious’ or ‘self-evident’; vanzelfsprekend translates literally as ‘from-self-speaking’. When searching for your soul’s calling, it is well to be reminded that what you seek is not some heroic feature, but something that is so obvious, so ‘speaking-from-self’, that you might not have noticed it at first. You might think that everybody has that particular capacity, and assume that everybody can do this thing that you can do. That is not the case at all. Your soul print has a unique expression, a passion that is yours alone to bring to manifestation in the world. We westerners are so conditioned to the notion of hard work that discovering our soul’s calling feels like a gift of freedom to do just what we like from now on… Yes, that is how life is supposed to be! Living your soul’s calling generates more energy and excitement, although many tasks along the way might be new and challenging. I could never have imagined that doing action research in the field of collective consciousness and then writing about it was something I was supposed to do! I like it, I love it, and it is sometimes hard work and needs a great deal of perseverance. There are days when I wonder: What work am I willing to suffer for today? Still it calls me – a calling from life that I cannot deny if I am to be true to myself; it is life’s creativity that is nudging me to open myself for this expression and this creation.
Quote from participant:
The most intimate story for me of these last weeks is how I felt just more ordinary than before in a gathering; not the one who is good at hosting, or good at harvesting, or who is… bla bla bla – but just… me. As if I’ve fallen deeper into who I am, who I always was. And that’s not a contradiction, or some kind of paradox. The more ordinary I feel, the closer I come to my soul – I guess. – Ria
The obvious and ‘from-self-speaking’ translates into elegant simplicity, which is a property of life. It seems that life expresses itself infinitely, in countless ever more complex yet elegant forms; it takes shape in and through each one of us – and everything else that exists. This elegance and simplicity is intimately related with beauty and awe – not the beauty of high (conceptual) art but that found in the simple things, in the ordinary and the mundane.
Practicing full participation in life
To participate, means to enjoy movement and reciprocity within the generative ground of our universalized becoming and the foregrounding of our being. To participate means to act and to be acted upon, to affect and effect, to mediate both spatial and temporal extension in infinite directions and dimensions. To participate means to be ‘in the soup’; not somehow above, beneath, behind the action, through the veil of transcendence, assumption of objectivity or inference of subjectivity. To participate means to lose track of cause and effect, agent and object, knower and known, actor and script. To participate requires a pre-conceptual or post-dialectical orientation to reality as “a movement, a happening, a transformation… as events that are constantly transformed.” (Oliver, 1989) To participate means, as Whitehead would have it, to be in a relationship of feeling among a society of all other entities, human and nonhuman, biotic and a-biotic, within a nexus of shared history.
– Bonnitta Roy, Post-dialectical excerpts
We participate in life all the time, whether we are aware of it or not, because we are just that: alive. Even when we are more or less repeating the dynamics of the past, acting out our habits and unconscious shared assumptions, we are still participating in life – but this mode of participation is reduced to mere survival pretty much bereft of creativity. When I talk of ‘practicing full participation’, I’m pointing to the possibility of being fully aware that life is happening through me, us and all that is around us, all the time… life isn’t happening elsewhere than in and through us. We are all (part of) it. There is a very important distinction to make here: I am talking about participating in life itself, not participating in ‘the world’ – the conceptual realm with its financial systems, hierarchies, nation states and suchlike, that we have implicitly and unconsciously agreed to call ‘the world’. I am talking about being ‘in the soup’.
If we are to enjoy and be life and manifest its unfolding – what this Circle of Creation is about – we are each required to participate fully and contribute our best unique self wherever we are – everywhere we are: at work, at home, with friends, in the neighborhood, in gatherings, on holiday, meeting strangers on the street, online, with the flowers in the meadow, the trees in the forest, the ducks on the pond, the timing of events, the pain of war, the openness in a baby’s eyes… it is big and it is small, it is simple and extraordinary…
Peeling away our habits, shedding our downloading, brings us to more authenticity (I and Myself) and eventually leaves us rather empty. This emptiness is not a dearth of content, but an absence of the rigid patterns that guide life into known forms. This emptiness gives space for a wide, aware, energetic container in which more (forms) of life can be received consciously, where the boundaries between me and the rest of life melt away. In many ways we become intimate with more aspects of life. The personal and developmental work we have been doing serves not only our own individual life and happiness, but is also in service of the greater whole and of life itself. In this openness and emptiness, our unique calling can come to the surface and further unfold, as all the while we marvel at the complexity, the subtlety and the play of synchronicity – the extraordinary way life engages with us to lead us through our own development towards a space where we can fully participate in that living whole.
Full participation in this context means surrender. Surrender to the higher, to the deeper, to the innermost… whichever term suits you. It implies unswerving commitment to the truth that comes from living the reality of one’s ever-unfolding soul’s path, which is also the commitment to living awake, moment by moment, to the minutiae of daily life. It means living totally open, letting everything in, feeling, sensing, knowing and being transformed, breath by breath, by that which comes to our senses. As one friend said: minimal interference and maximum engagement – surrendering in full participation. When we live like this, there is nothing we need to keep up or hold on to. Participating fully, we experience change as a result of our participation in the unfolding of life, and life is different because we participate in it.
This degree of participation has a distinct flavour of wholeness and energetic flow. Whenever we fall back into the fragmented, controlled, ‘mainstream’ way of being, we long to reconnect with ourselves and with life in its totality. It can bring grief and sadness when we find that we have drifted off while we weren’t paying attention, that we have failed to attend to the quality of our aliveness. This longing can be powerful, and will show up again and again if we deny it: “it wants the whole of us”. (Eugene Pustoshkin FB note) It doesn’t settle for less than being fully alive and listening to what we know “deep in the darkness, inside ourselves” (same author and note).
Having shed most of our conditioning, opening to more authenticity is being like an empty tube that is actively opening and receiving. It is like being a well-tuned instrument that can receive a note, although it is not the flute itself that makes the music, rather it is played by the winds of life. One of the 10 points offered by Otto Scharmer to keep in mind when practicing presencing is: “operate as an instrument, becoming the pure vessel with the ego set aside”. Being well-tuned means that the instrument is clean and balanced, its unique tone emanating from the individual blend of ideas, passions and history. Well-tuned also assumes an inner resonant vibration that enables us to come into resonance with the Earth and life itself, translated in the local context of our lives.
If I am coherent in mind, heart and will, if I am like that tube resonating with the subtle intelligences of the world, then isn’t it love that is coming through? Isn’t it love that is pouring out? Isn’t it life generating a new form through (co-)creation?
The deepening of the Authentic Self (I and Myself) that happens in the movement towards a Circle of Creation affects the totality of your life and work. The I-in-now – to borrow Scharmer’s concept – is extending in space and time, becoming a leitmotif in all that you do. ‘What you are doing’ might not seem straightforward to others, but the patchwork that is the life you have created is just right for you. You could not leave out a single strand, because then your life would be less whole. Your life, your work and your passion are now a coherent whole for your Self, and your Self, as it is in constant change, can be seen as a dynamic multiplicity. You are now living in emergent time, all the time; you are constantly living from or as your soul print ‘in the soup’ of life.
Quote from participant:
What struck me most forcibly: all I have to take care of is my connection with my authentic and deeper self! All I have to take care of is my openness; my feeling of being safe in this cosmos. All I have to do is be who I was born to be. And do what is given to me to do. Sometimes I have to step up and say: I can do this; other times other people ask me to do something. – Helen
The last tricks of ego
Too small or too big
Sooner or later we start to see what our soul’s calling is about. It is a good feeling because it is so close to who we are in essence, deep down inside. It feels so natural. But we have to remain vigilant to ensure that ego-as-habit doesn’t creep back in. This can go in one of two directions: either we have the idea that we are not big enough to undertake this task or project, or we fall into hubris, thinking we are so important with this unique contribution or insight. In my case, the trap came when I realised that the patterns that I had seen sprouting from our collective work were in reality a new way of looking of what was possible, that what was forming was actually a new human capacity. As I searched everywhere to read more about this without ever find the book or the article that would confirm my hunch, my frustration grew with those authors I expected to know more about this. When I finally realised that it was my job to write this book, it seemed like a huge tension between the gigantic task facing me and the small ego I held inside. My ego-as-habit said that I, a small Flemish girl, could not write a book that could contribute something on the level of famous, international authors. Over time, I had to realise that if the seed of the book is in me, then I am the only one who can write it. I had to accept and honour that this is what I am called to do. It is what it is, without big or small attachments to it. My anxiety comes from thinking that the task is too big… and then getting anxious about it. But as soon as I start doing ‘my thing’ – and not ‘the big task’ – then I’m fine. When we are internally aligned and coherent, we act naturally, by intuition, without falling into either of the two extremes I just described. If you are able to live in resonance with your soul’s calling, then you know where to go, why you need to be there, what to say, what to do.
The line is very fine between the inner knowing of what is yours to do and making it too big or too small. At one point in the process of the different Women Moving the Edge gatherings, we got international recognition for what we were doing. It would have been easy to be swept away by that. Being Flemish, and a gardener at heart, I realised that it was much more important to keep our feet on the ground and not to get inflated ideas about what we were doing or the insights we had gathered. Some people whose ego-as-habit is about taking up a lot of space, have to come to terms with the fact that their role in a collective endeavour will necessarily be limited. The point is to be aligned with your inner gift, speak it and share it, in a way that has no (emotional) charge. All too often, the help that is offered is ultimately more an opportunity for the giver to feel good about herself, and not about improving the lot of the receiver, who maybe does not even need what is being given. Often, our urges to save the world, our efforts of trying too hard to move the world forward, spring from an emotionally charged reaction. They do not express the joy and energy of building an irresistible bandwagon that the world wants to jump on. If we are aligned, we simply take the next step we sense needs to be taken. That step might be important, even huge and crucial, but still it is no big deal.
Quote from participant:
We are not saving the world, we are not being important. We do what is natural as participants in life. – Helen
To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you into something else is the greatest accomplishment.
– Ralph Waldo Emerson
It should be apparent that there is a deep relation between the ego traps of engaging with the soul’s calling and the shadow and gift described in Chapter 2. At this point in the journey, as we move ever more into wholeness, jettisoning the more obvious layers of conditioning, we will unavoidably touch our deeper personal unconscious layers that are asking for recognition and integration, to free up the energy that is blocked there. We can encounter very deep unconscious patterns and emotions that come from a preverbal state, which are not always easy to grasp and integrate. Among other things, I have seen deep anxiety that life will not provide enough support, and paralysing fear about the intensity of living life to the fullest. Such states can all be easily linked back to early experiences in life, even birth and the time in the womb. The good news is that these early traumas, too, can be healed, just like any other conditioning, and will then reveal the deeper gifts of the person who suffered them. A personal practice including physical embodiment can work wonders in this regard, while professional help can sometimes be needed to shed light on what is really going on in our unconscious depths, to understand the steps towards healing and to put it in the right framework.
Projections onto ‘the system’
Many people on the path of personal development sooner or later encounter the dynamic of projection and the concept of shadow. There is a small community in Germany that has a rule that I like: “If something bothers you for more than 3 minutes, it is yours and you should look at it.” Strangely, for many people this principle doesn’t seem to count for emotions and judgments triggered by society, the financial system, the agro-industry and the like. A friend of mine was in a burn-out period and one of the limiting beliefs that kept her stuck was that she couldn’t do what she needed to do because ‘the system’ didn’t let her. The system in this case being the structure of a huge governmental bureaucracy that she is working in. Being a very respectful, heartfelt and conscious person she would now and then, most unexpectedly, point quite aggressively to the system at large. Of course, this organisation does all kind of things that are not sustainable, not respectful – or sometimes even harmful and toxic – to so many aspects of life; but do not let the system get in the way of your intimacy with life itself. Even if you work (and live) ‘in’ a system, the system is not ‘a thing’. Indeed, that system is part of you in some ways, and in the end it is about you and life, either ‘in’ the system or ‘out’ of it, as you choose and as you are called. Even huge bureaucracies came into being because they served a need and because this was the best way people could organise at that time. They might have gone too far in their ability to maintain – and control – widespread services to a lot of people, but they are human made and still prone to change.
In such circumstances, acknowledging what is – even when this is painful to see and affects a lot of people – can appear cold-hearted, but it is part of being able to stay in touch with your inner centre, your soul’s calling and life itself in the midst of chaos and huge change. My personal reference point in checking what I do is to ask myself: would the world be a better place if everyone lived as I do? I do believe that if more of us could stay centered in the face of the ‘bad stuff’ and the chaos in the world, and still pursue our soul’s calling, there would be more joy, fun, beauty and even shared meaning in the world. Some might be called to ignite action and protest – there is also a place of honour for them – but many protesters are fuelled by judgments and blaming ‘the others’ and remain unaware of their own power and potential that comes with being alive.
This is a tricky one – especially for scholars, academics and people who like to talk and invent models, theories and concepts. It took me a long time to identify the dynamic of the conceptual shadow – it was Bonnie Roy who finally articulated and explained it to me. As I have already said, in our journey to become more whole and embrace more of life, we will encounter pieces of our life that were not so nice and that left deep scars, resulting in strong unconscious habits that rule our way of being and acting in the world. Many people in the Western world have ‘chosen’ the habit of retreating into conceptual space – with some distance from the actual facts – to try to understand or grasp it all when emotions were too overwhelming and there was no support to deal with the situation. This habit, like all ego-habits, is so prevalent and ingrained in the Western world that it is hard for the ego-as-self to become aware of it – it is a resort for so many of us!
Having conversations with such people can be highly rewarding in the conceptual (meta-)space and great ideas and visions can be born. The problem arises when the ground is missing to actually apply the insights, embody them or make them happen. Unconsciously, these people have hit a block in themselves which they neither recognise nor understand, so they add more fuel to the mental fire rather than turning inward to connect with the pain in the sphere of relationship and intimacy, and learn to balance the conceptual with experiences of becoming, participating, connecting etc.
Here, too, the gift is in the trauma, and what is in the shadow asks to be integrated and not condemned. The capacity to think clearly, to make distinctions and use concepts and models is highly valuable and needs to be present alongside the more subtle ways of knowing – for everyone. It is difficult to integrate the subtle ways of knowing when this habit (of escaping into concepts) keeps moving you away from it. A real co-creation between these different ways of knowing is then not possible. A journey towards full embodiment is needed to capture the subtle shifts in inner energy and apprehend the felt sense; but it is just as important to be able to articulate these so they become available to others. It is the synergy between subtle sensing and cognitive capacity that will allow us to more fully participate in life, with body, mind and soul. Remember that the self is always in a process of becoming, always on the journey of arising to the surface. Any kind of shadow is just one element in this whole work of art.
Taking the leap
Courage is the ability to cultivate a relationship with the unknown; to create a form of friendship with what lies around the corner over the horizon — with those things that have not yet fully come into being.
– David Whyte
At this stage there isn’t much left to say: you either take the leap or you don’t. It’s that simple in the end. There might be a long journey before you actually jump, during which you ponder all manner of fears and anxieties about whether or not you will survive; or perhaps you think you should be working or living somewhere else while your soul’s calling is simply to stay put and apply all your wisdom right here were you are.
The leap always feels like leaving the safety of stable ground – at least the old familiar patterns are known, even if they are painful or destructive. It feels frightening to surrender to trust in life and to signs from a wider arena than the one that supposedly gave you security. How can there be grounding, balance and coherence while living on one’s edge in a lot of not–knowing-yet? You don’t know where your soul’s path will take you or what you will have to step up to. Perhaps you don’t know where money will come from in the coming month. Perhaps you can’t possibly imagine what kind of challenge lies ahead for your business. But one thing is sure: you will feel alive and vibrant, you will feel in the right place at the right time and you will enjoy life! Your neighbour might still be complaining, a family member might still suddenly die, and wars will most certainly continue – all this is still happening – but life in general takes on more the flavour of lovemaking… where we are always curious about what comes next, where we find great joy and satisfaction in small and simple movements and where there is awe in the minute details and beauty in the ordinary.
When you continue to integrate subtle sensing in your life and keep practicing acknowledging what is, you will reach a point where you are no longer able to stomach being out of alignment with your soul’s purpose and you will begin to live what is. Settling for anything less becomes toxic. Although you might find yourself living without financial security, I and others who have taken the plunge have found that when you are in alignment or resonance, things somehow fall into place and work out. We seem to be on the edge of a really different way of behaving and living, and so we have to learn to act in new ways. By daring to follow our life’s calling we are opening ourselves up as energetic vessels to a new form that is emerging.
In taking the leap, we say good bye to the identity we constructed to fit so nicely in that box we lived in before, to replace it with uniqueness and intimacy. Our lives become a patchwork that might not make much sense to others, but shows our unique colours, that we no longer seek to hide or gloss over. Instead of clinging to our different roles, identities or social personae, we can ground in our uniqueness and capacity to be intimate with all that is around us, living flexibly and creatively with what life and circumstances bring us.
Do everything with a mind that lets go.
Do not expect any praise or reward.
If you let go a little,
you will have a little peace.
If you let go a lot,
you will have a lot of peace.
If you let go completely,
you will know complete peace and freedom.
Your struggles with the world will have come to an end.
– Ajahn Chah
Chapter 6. Taking the Leap: I-in-Now
Cosmogenesis is organized by communion. To be is to be related, for relationship is the essence of existence. In the very first instant when the primitive particles rushed forth, every one of them was connected to every other one in the entire universe. At no time in the future existence of the universe would they ever arrive at a point of disconnection. Alienation for a particle is a theoretical impossibility. For galaxies too, relationships are the fact of existence. Nothing is itself without everything else. …
The universe evolves into beings that are different from each other, and that organize themselves. But in addition to this, the universe advances into community – into a differentiated web of relationships among sentient centers of creativity.
– Brian Swimme and Thomas Berry, The Universe Story
In quantum mechanics everything is connected, but it is more than that, it is deeper: all your connections define who you are. That is quantum mechanics.
– Aaron O’Connell in his TED talk on: Making sense of a visible quantum object
Welcome to the New Paradigm
Welcome to the final part of this book – the last 4 chapters. Welcome to the new paradigm – an integral paradigm that is quite unlike what we are used to: it is not even about fields; it is not even co-creative, because creation is always ‘co-‘ in some sense. It is generative in all directions, but are there still directions and dimensions? This is all the way up and all the way down, but is there still up and down? Welcome to the soup of life!
In this soup, we can still make distinctions, but boundaries and all that is ‘thing-like’ are no longer the focus. Our ‘boxes’ keep expanding in all directions, until there is precious little stability or structure left to the box. Reality and life are understood as something like Indra’s Net, with every mote of reality reflected in every other. Even the metaphor of soup falls short, because in a dynamic process we don’t get the unity of a blended soup. Rather, what is real and alive is a multiplicity and an infinite number of unique dishes, with a combination of flavors we have never encountered before.
It is hard to describe a dynamic and alive process in words, especially in a language like English that organises standard sentence construction along subject-verb-object lines, as if the connection back from the object through the verb to the subject didn’t exist, and as if all other influences – like the context and history of this subject-verb-object – is of no relevance. The best linguistic signposts or heuristics illuminating the essence of this new paradigm have been words like ‘interpenetration’ and ‘interweaving’, ‘potential’, ‘dynamic process’, ‘love’, ‘creation’ and ‘generative’. Notwithstanding all these considerations, I will still offer another map, complete with classical boxes, to describe both the possibilities and the pitfalls we can encounter in this journey to becoming a Circle of Creation. Need I repeat that the map is not the territory? We make distinctions not because these different parts can or do exist on their own, but only to be able to focus our attention on one part of this constantly unfolding dynamic process.
Unlike the boxes in the Circle of Presence map, (which pointed to levels or movements in awareness) the vectors in the map of the Circle of Creation can best be seen as bridges or interfaces between the manifest and the invisible or the subtle. I like to think of them as wormholes, although I don’t have the credentials to assert whether the scientific definition might fit or not. This interpenetration of the subtle and manifest goes much deeper than ‘having a relation to’ or even a reciprocal influencing; it is more like different coloured tendrils of smoke mingling and blending together in swirls and waves, constantly changing into new forms. It is important to remember that this interpenetration and interweaving is always already happening. When we start consciously to practice participating in the potential present in the current moment – in and as life itself – it seems we become more deeply immersed in life and can close some of the gaps that are still part of our mainstream culture and world view.
Perceiving the subtle clues and energies that the world offers us – whether these reside within or alongside the physical realm – requires deep listening and receptivity. As a Circle of Presence we have become well versed in sensing those subtle signs. We have learned to open our arms and full bodies to this realm that is so much more extensive than we had ever imagined. Sensing into the subtle realms can become a very conscious action and intention. It must be informed by the subtle seed planted in our receptivity and openness.
We have noticed over time that people easily fall back into business-as-usual after having seen some new meaning (at the bottom of the U in Otto Scharmer’s terms, or after some participatory processes). As soon as we move into any kind of specific articulation or activity in order to make something happen, the practice of presence and authenticity tends to be forgotten. We see this happening all the time: the pace of conversation accelerates, the timeline is planned, a structure is placed on what needs to happen, the leaders decide… all of it! Our conditioned Western mind seems to rejoice in the return to known territory, where it can apply what it already ‘knows’ and what it thinks is really true.
What if, instead, we were to sustain our practice of being present and authentic as we move ‘up the U’, or as we start to sense how this newly shared collective meaning might translate in terms of organisation, structure, hierarchy, evaluation? When someone has the presence to call everyone back to presence and grounding, it is possible to have a collective sense of the next date, to innovate structures and workflows, to live the paradigm to its fullest.
The ultimate purpose of a Circle of Creation is to build collective capacity for generative action. By ‘generative’ I mean both generating something novel and also ‘re-generative’, the capacity to heal and take the broken or hurt into a process whereby we can create more aliveness together. The capacity to be open to everything that is present in this moment makes it possible to generate a subsequent moment that holds less obstruction to that aliveness and can flow with life in general.
Generative action of this kind can sometimes manifest in an instant, as it moves in resonance with the subtle. Ideally, there should be no movement, no action – even if it is only the minimal next step – until an overall coherence is present. Just as someone with perfect pitch can distinguish whether two notes are exactly the same, so there is a need for us to develop our capacity to sense the ‘pitch’ of coherence, when the physical is aligned with the subtle. When this alignment is present, the action is not really ‘decided’ or ‘taken’, but will happen as if of its own accord.
One substantial difference between a Circle of Presence and a Circle of Creation is that classic group dynamics are no longer part of the picture. There is thus no longer any need for a trainer or facilitator to guide these processes. Instead of being focused on what others in the circle say and do (or not), attention is fully grounded in the ongoing collective inquiry and the shared field of awareness. Facilitation – or hosting – merely supports the conditions for emergence. We learn to see and to be constantly aware of the ‘inter-effecting’, to use a word from Gendlin, and the interrelated moving. Like hosting a constellation, there is no linearity and we go with what the phenomena show us.
Orienting to the map for the Circle of Creation
The first column of the map builds on the work done in I and Myself and I and You. Having deeply integrated your subtle perception and most of your shadow parts, your path has not come to an end. Rather, you will notice a calling from deep within – your life’s or soul’s calling. It is an invitation to integrate work, passion and life, to align everything into a unique and joyful existence that is more emergent than planned (I-in-Now).
What becomes possible when we are all following our life’s purpose and we feel attracted, invited, nudged and drawn to come together in a collective inquiry? What emerges when we pool all our resources, knowledge, expertise and presence in service of something greater? It seems to us that participatory collectives arise in relation to a possibility whose time has come. It is as if a confluence of potential gives rise to a subtle thickening in the fabric of the cosmos which functions as a strange attractor around which a collective can form. The purpose of such gatherings is neither conceptual nor prompted by any sense of urgency. Rather, information relating to purpose is gleaned from the subtle, much in the same way that animals in a herd sense when they need to come together to weather some external danger.
From the collective sense of purpose of We-in-Now, we expand out as in the previous map, to embrace also the context in which we find ourselves; the collective of humans enters a conscious relationship with the greater whole. Context is to be understood here not just as the environment or physical space, but all that is included in subtle place and time. This transcends just humans as co-creators, to include our brethren the animals and the living realm of nature, natural rhythm and right timing, the unique powers of a place or space and more. It is surrendering to collective inspiration and collective ‘insighting’, a lived experience of the body, mind, heart and will of life itself. (We-in-Here)
Finally (in the map, not in the experience) the collective engages with a potential that is present but not yet manifest – a full participative interpenetration and interweaving of all realms of existence and all beings (We-Now-Here-and-Potential). All separation has fallen away. We are equally in awe of what is and in love with what is possible next. The notion of ‘experience’ is absolutely key here: this generative action is an embodied, multi-sensory phenomenon where joy, beauty, curiosity and amazement at life are the benchmarks.
Quote from participant:
I feel my own awareness so different than it was this time last year. There is so much more relationship that I am aware of; so many subtle levels, inside myself and also with others, and with nature and the earth, and the invisible beings that are all around us. I’m now learning to keep them also in my awareness, as well as my physicality. It is extraordinary – like a sunbeam that shines on the little pieces of dust that you normally don’t see. And learning to be at ease with that is the first step, in preparation for something that we just can’t see yet. – Helen
Taking the leap
Setting the scene: One evening in May 2009, the core group of Women Moving the Edge is having a Skype call, linking the US (Boston), Belgium and the Netherlands; five of us are present on the call. We are debriefing the sixth gathering, which ended a few days ago. I am ready to take a leap of faith. What follows is an edited transcript of that call.
Ria: I now see trapeze artists in the circus tent, they release their grip on one trapeze bar and fly through the air to grab the other … leaving behind the security of the old system – be it money or whatever kind of structure – and living on the edge in a lot of not knowing, but where you feel very alive and vibrant – this kind of lovemaking with some new form that is not really manifest yet. You can’t touch it or hold it, but it comes alive in the relationship with it, in the lovemaking.
For me, it’s about being fully alive, participating in life, a life that is totally connected with earth – and not confusing the earth with ‘the world’ that’s going on.
For me that is a very clear picture in my mind. We are so used to living in the ‘world’ – which is very much built on concepts and ideas translated into stuff and structures. But this ‘world’ is not connected with earth and life – or the sacredness of earth and life (of course it’s connected in some way, because it’s here and manifest)… I don’t want to be new-agey about it, more like being real about it. Very real!
Lisette: When you were speaking about ‘the world’, sometimes I am aware that most conversations are not about what they seem to be about. What we are doing, so busy in the world, is not what it’s about at all – even in this conversation. The whole Women Moving is about opening ourselves up as energetic vessels to a new form. It’s quite funny – everything that seems to be going on in the world – it’s NOT about that!
Ria: This seems like the solution to the riddle: OPENING OURSELVES UP AS ENERGETIC VESSELS TO A NEW FORM. I want to write that in big capitals in my notebook!
Helen: So what does that mean for us?
Ria: What it means to me, as a very concrete consequence, is that I will give more attention to the new form that’s arising – that means that I will trust more that the universe will provide me with money whenever I need it and go more fully into writing my book rather than first making sure I have enough money and then, if there is time left over… I will more fully make that leap.
Lisette: I usually do this in private, but when Ria took the leap – my immediate impulse is to give you an amount of money.
Helen: I had the same impulse. It is done sister!
Ria: It feels so much like lovemaking. God!! Thank you!!
Ria: It was like in (tantric) lovemaking, where you can have plateaus, building up the energy, going higher and higher, finer and finer. When Lisette made her offer, it felt like an energy entered my body. I didn’t do anything for it. Very much like lovemaking energy! That’s the perfect description – going up my spine. I’m sitting here smiling all over the place…
Nicanor Perlas has a model about leap learning, based on The Hero’s Journey of Joseph Campbell. He talks about the call, the question that moves you; your life’s question as the framework for your experiences. If you say ‘No’ to this call, something deep in your psyche dies, because there is no real separation between yourself and this deep question. Nevertheless, to be open to the call is disturbing to your identity. Building on this individual challenge, he asks us: “Are we going to accept the call, as a human species?” What is the challenge for our collective identity? Nicanor speaks of the leap, because there is a discontinuity between the known past and the future that is possible. That future can only come from the call, your soul’s calling. While this may feel pretty threatening to our day-to-day identity, many of us do feel called, hear our souls whispering and act accordingly, sometimes against all odds. A real living and active relationship with this call is a powerful entry point to a new sense of being in the world.
One of the practices of the Art of Hosting Conversations that Matter is the Art of Calling . The practice of this art embraces both the feeling of being called and the act of inviting others into this call. Many of us who have been on the path of ever deepening authenticity (Circle of Presence) feel at a certain point that we need to do something that hasn’t been done before. This can take a lot of different forms: opening a conversation about an issue that was never mentioned before, starting a project without knowing where the money will come from to complete it, convening people in ways and combinations that have never happened before, quitting a regular job and daring to follow the heart’s desires…
Answering the call means being absolutely personal, fully authentic and using your highest potential. Paradoxically, the experience seems to tip so that the personal becomes impersonal, while remaining truly unique. During the years when I was actively involved in the path of 5 Rhythms dance, I had many experiences where, after many hours of practice, it was not ‘me’ who was dancing, but I had come to a point of surrender to the inherent movement in my body that resonated with the music. I had ‘become the dance’. The dance was happening through me, my body was a receptive empty vessel in service of what was coming through. Nevertheless, this dance was still very personal and unique: when it is coming through my bones and muscles – my solidified memory and unique combination of genes and circumstances – it looks quite different than when it’s coming through someone else’s, and both are uniquely beautiful. An Iranian dancing friend calls this the paradox of minimal interference and maximal engagement. It is deeply unique and authentic, very personal, and at the same time it has a free-flowing energy that makes it impersonal.